The power of asking better questions

TLDR:

Earlier today, I started listening to this week’s episode of the “How I Write” podcast by David Perell uploaded this morning, with Sahil Bloom as the guest. One section that’s stuck to me like super glue is “Asking Better Questions.”

The key insight would undoubtedly be: “The best things in life don’t come from finding better answers, they come from finding better questions.”

As you think about it deeper, indeed it is.

The inventions and discoveries of Henry Ford, Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, Nikolas Tesla, Galielo, and whoever else you could think of all come to mind.

Certainly, they found the better answer to improve people’s quality of life and technologically advance the earth altogether, but they didn’t exactly pull it out of thin air like Houdini. The conclusion could have only been reached by asking better questions.

But how can you ask better questions?

It is simple: cultivate your curiosity as Perell and Sahil later talk about in the episode.

One may be drawn to Erik Erikson’s Stages of Development when on this topic, namely the conflict he describes in Adolescence (ages 12-18), “Identity vs Confusion”, synonymous with “Just who am I?”

A pioneer of the Psychosocial theory, Erikson says that if the conflict is successfully resolved, the person will develop a primary virtue of that stage, pertinent for personality development that doesn’t necessarily deviate from the social norm; outcasts in other words.

The next stage that follows is “Intimacy vs Isolation” in Early Adulthood (ages 19-29), where the person has to become capable of opening up and fostering strong relationships with individuals they deem close.

For this case, “Identity vs Confusion” can be translated as to become comfortable in one’s skin is to answer every single question wandering in your mind, particularly if you’re towards the end of the spectrum Erikson talks about, as by then you’re expected to have a decent grasp of what you want to do for the rest of your life.

Think of it like climbing a ladder, where for each step you climb, you’ve answered one question, irrespective of its significance in the grand scheme of things of figuring out who you really are.

Of course, for everyone, the ladder will look different; some longer, and some shorter. But as long as you don’t grow impatient and give up by jumping onto the inflatable rescue cushion waiting for you down the surface and proceed to carry on with your day neglecting this crucial formation of your identity, you’ll reach the top eventually.

When you do, you can be certain that you’ve shaped a relatively in-depth understanding of who you are as a person at the very least, and thus you are now comfortable in your skin to a reasonable degree.

The successful transition to “Intimacy vs Isolation” in this translation is pretty straightforward. If you’re now decently confident in who you are, you’ll find that the quality of questions you ask has also improved; a relationship between two variables that’s as linear as they come.

So how do you know exactly?

You’ll come to understand the ripple effect of epiphanies that gradually begin to follow throughout the process of both stages, where one spark suddenly begins to lead you to one more, then two more, then four more sparks, exponentially multiplying, finding yourself in the zone.

These will be sparks that with a high confidence coefficient you can be certain that when you share with close people in your circle who are at the same frequency as you, will also experience the same thing: the ripple effect of epiphanies.

That’s the power of asking better questions.